Maladaptive behaviors create what I imagine to be rutted little canals in our wiring, like scratched up dive bar tables (yes, hi, I’m Danielle, and I’m an alcoholic).

I’m sorry that your Italian Beef was ruined. 

I rarely watch TV news but when I do I’m just staggered by how much time is spent not reporting the news, but discussing it. Do we need to hear that Gayle King feels bad about the victims of an earthquake, and at a length that actually rivals the report itself?

Exactly. Why didn’t this tree have a gun ornament? Seems like fox would have solved this problem. 

They also love to mock liberals as snowflakes but will throw a huge tantrum every time they face the slightest adversity.

The only way to stop a bad guy with a bottle of kerosene and a book of matches is a good guy with a bottle of kerosene and a book of matches.

Clearly the only solution is to arm the nation's Christmas trees.

Conservatives love nothing more than playing victim. Of course they shame anyone else who they deem to be “playing victim,” but when it comes to them, you won’t hear the end of how they are persecuted and cancelled and all that other bullshit that isn’t true.

No one wants to talk about sandpaper tongues?

You assume the rich aren’t breastfeeding hairless cats on their private planes.

I don’t think I’ll ever begrudge the rich and their private jets ever again. Your odds of seeing a woman breastfeed a cat while flying commercial, are now officially, not zero.

“Sex. Celebrity. Politics. WITH TEETH.”

You can tell he’s just waiting for you to leave the room.

I’ve had Wiley cat for 4 years and this is his first Christmas tree.  Say a little prayer for us. 

It’s such a weird movie to latch onto as a “millennial movie”. On top of Garden State, Fight Club and The Matrix both hit two years earlier, and Fellowship of the Ring released the same year as Vanilla Sky. You’ve also got Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind alongside Garden State. Who the hell spends any time…

I also take issue with calling “elder millennials” a generation. Sloppy writing.

Thank you so much. I know what I do for the cats, but sometimes it helps to hear it from others, and tonight is one of those times. Many of you over the years have told me what the updates mean to you, and that makes my work at the shelter even more rewarding compared to a lot of the other volunteers.

Here is a fall boy in a sweater to warm all of us as the nights begin to chill:

Y’all, I think it might FINALLY be happening! Our son, his partner and their toddler might be coming from Oz to the US in late January or February. We have not met our precious granddaughter (our only grandchild) yet as she was born just after the pandemic started. She will be almost two when we get to hold her. I’m…