Humble brag: Julia Roberts says she's "taken a big risk in not having had a face-lift."

Thank you, Isha. I'm in bed watching Chopped. I have not felt this horrible in years. :(

It really was a pleasant surprise, especially the morning after the first time they hooked up. I'm so conditioned to expect it to end badly for the woman, but then they turned that stereotype on its head.

Glad that I could bring you to the dark side. Welcome to Jezebel. Here's you diva cup.

I'm on the fence about this. Part of me wants to be mildly offended, but the other part of me wants to be on that bus...

I saw one the other day on Deadspin that was a little white kid as Ray Rice, dressed in black face no less. Those parents are the fucking worst and are 100% the reason their kid will turn out to be a Grade A fucking asshole.

I will reluctantly high-five you for that.

Important update: Here's a photo of Ben with his fiancee. Everybody simmer down.

She is the Michael Jordan of wearing clothes.

My life long quest is over. For I have found my Goddess.

It's great all the progress the gay community is making. But at the end of the day, we still have to have sex with our poop holes and sometimes that's the true struggle.

Team cat Headquarters here,

I'd just like to point out it is completely possible to be a rapist without having been convicted in the court of law. Just like how it's completely possible to be a criminal without ever having been convicted due to our not infallible justice system.

Can I call you "alleged human being"? It hasn't been proven you're human or have human characteristics, such as reason and empathy, so, until further proof, you're only allegedly part of our species.

Scrub supreme Justin Bieber was hanging out the passenger side of his best friend's ride, trying to holler at a model.

I do think that's the difference. If you're going to tout your name as a "thing" then own that shit.

Posting his address/phone number/personal email would be shitty but a name? I don't think that's equal to doxing.

Honestly don't say things you'd be ashamed of if your name was attributed to them.

In the space of a few minutes, he has disabled his Facebook and contact page. Wowch...

If you aren't right, I'll be amazed. It can't possibly be necessary to list every. Single. Magazine. Ever. Wouldn't a legit writer who wasn't an absolute freakish narcissist choose a sampling of them instead of listing all six dozen? Overkill and strikes me as the kind of person who would escalate that convo just like…

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