I dunno, that picture makes her look pretty front loaded. :D

Goddamn heathens. Texas meatwater should never have legumes messing up the flavor.

Well, Chicago pizza isn’t for everybody. But outside of the whole NY/CHI strutting, it’s honestly pretty darn good. First time I had Uno’s, I had to go back (ps. Uno’s outside the city suck... I can’t figure it out, they just aren’t anywhere near as good). Ditto Gino’s. Then I discovered Lou Malnatti’s buttercrust and…

Yes, of course. The sign was funny, and TBH, I never actually see any of this whole anti-ketchup thing any time I’m in Chicago (I don’t live there, but I have family and friends that I visit). I’m sure it exists in places, but from what I’ve seen, the majority of the actual, real-world reaction to ketchup’ing your…

This is un-freakin’ American. You wanna be a good, red-blooded citizen, you use the good, red-colored condiment.

“... conduct an oil change, which necessitated the removal of sixteen drain plugs. Sixteen!”

“But I bet the hood is rated to carry a lot less.”

You sound wrung out over this.

... and Ballaban never forgave Torch for taking away his excuse to get rid of the damn thing. :D

COTD

“Let their bad purchases subsidize our sports cars.”

Better yet, how’d he get an eject button that launches the entire car? :D

“... I imagine if we had it would have been a very chill surfer dude with a cool-ass pitbull named Spike...”

Price it so that you’re aiming at the Cars & Coffee pedestrians chasing Mustang owners crowd. That way you can have the worlds fastest pricks driving the worlds fastest bricks. 

“Watching other people suffer through... now that I can get behind.”

There’s an added level of brilliance to Marvel’s machinations here: Quantum superposition states that Lang is both dead and not-dead. Therefore, we won’t know his state until we go to the next movie and look!

Needz moar starz!!! C’mon, people, this is the best joke’s since Mrs. Schrödinger asked about the cat because “it looked half dead”. :D 

“I’ve got a thing for... narrow track widths and wide bodies... that just gets me... That’s how I like it.”

While these film shorts are awesome, we have to be honest about one thing: The ads are 10,000x better than the product. Maybe 100,000x.

“Listen to me: Buy a kiddie pool for your adult self this summer”