Don’t need Satan when you have scarier people like Trump et al out there.

I miss Satan.

... but first, a quick whiz on the bed in the Lincoln Bedroom

He and Ivanka are going to fuck in every room in the White House tonight.

And a handle, which makes it easier for little hands to hold onto!

Trump asked to be sworn in with one of those bibles that has pictures.

It still couldn’t power that light inside my fridge, though.... It couldn’t power anything USEFUL.

If he wanted to do something for me so bad I would have settled for a shoe shine or mowing my lawn or cleaning out the gutters.

HOORAY FOR THE SATANIC TEMPLE!!

Team couldn’t talk him out of it.

lol! Welcome to the Fourth Reich.

Listen, bitchlette, he didn’t have to run for president. He could have gone on with his businesses, making deals, not paying his taxes, not paying his bills, living in his gilded bubble, and doing whatever it is he does to stay in the news. He chose to run for president. He chose to channel Greg Stillson to gain…

Oh, fuck this bitch. I’m sure I will never see her in person, and that is absolutely for the best. I would punch her.

The combined brainpower in this photo could power that light on your dashboard that tells you to put on your seatbelt.

America is getting dumber.

Can we please stop talking about Donald’s trip to Russia?

“Perhaps not the most educated or informed people,” he added, after a moment.

No kidding. He is absolutely getting re-elected. The people stupid enough to support him the first time will still be stupid enough to blame all the problems he causes on liberals and minorities the next time around, too.

i would but i’m basically drunk all the time and i cuss too much

I was going to hire some prostitutes but the “modeling agency” said they all called in sick today. Coincidence I guess.