I couldnt keep her in.

As soon as one of these ass-heads gets shot sightings will rapidly decrease.

Blow me.

“I CANT BREATHE!”

Hey, we want those unexploded cluster bombs back.

That word doesnt exist anywhere but here.

So now they wont even PLAY the fuckin’ thing?

Stop saying “woke”.

...

Pickles? Forget about it?
Have you ever tried to get those motherfuckers to throw on a few extra black olives? Its like asking them to sit on a sandpaper dildo.

I assume he got the MLB gig the same way he got every other one. By tossing Satans salad.

Southern Goods, Houston.

Couldnt they have at least invented more attractive people?

I like his car commercial where he motors around aimlessly with a vacuous look on his face that says, “I have a head injury, please tell me how to drive to hospital now.”

“We dont have any problem with the on field product”

20 yards for sneezing on the flag.

**shudder**

Hes got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under.

Why do people bother to try and have fun in Muslim countries?

Is it possible for a toddler to get an eating disorder for being judged online?