+1 You son of a bitch.

The MSDS sheet for Bud Light reccomends ingesting 30-40 ml of brake fluid.

Stop wanting to like her just because shes a woman. Jesus.

“Golden Peafowl”

“Its probably no worse than what the queers have already done to the soil”

“Settle down”

Should’a put this out around Halloween.

“I bet its gonna be wicked smaht and Trumps gonna give him the Congressional Medal of Honor.”

Yeah, im sure a nice polite speech on The View should take care of everything.

Im sorry he never got to see Arizona.

I admire your delicate sensibilities.

Yeah, what happened to Randy Weaver was totally unnecessary.

The best I can hope for is that my cocaine tree sprouts soon.

...

“OK people, step one is get that statue of Jay Z out of here. He said a lot of nasty things about me.”

Im impressed, most people are totally unintelligible when trying to speak with a dick in their mouth.

Unless he can un-invent automation and Walmart those jobs aint coming back.

For dinner last night I had a sixer of Schlitz tall boys and some pizza bagels so im gonna be sitting for a while too.

I hear the Paris location is lovely.

Im fixin to get drunk as fuk.