I endorse the ‘you won’t starve’ policy. In our house you can eat what I made, or eat fruit & yogurt, or eat nothing. No one has starved yet.

“pissed off Iowans”

Holy fuck - I posted a thing on facebook about how not tipping means you are a cheap bastard, adn someone immediately replied “I think it should be done how it is done in Europe.” I said Yeah, but you are in America, you know how it works here, you tip.

Right? I have a finicky almost-five-year-old. Just a week ago, we were out and he started in about something. Our poor, sweet, young server was quite concerned. I thanked her warmly for her concern, and after she left our table my offspring and I reviewed our Pleases, our Thank Yous, and our How We Talk to Others.

Look at you playing the long odds.

yup. Our nine year old, as far as I know, hasn’t had anything to eat today but some corn chips and a banana with peanut butter, if he’s to be believed. (He was with the sitter today, and may have eaten and forgotten.) His older brother made him a cheeseburger, and had the audacity to put one leaf of kale and one…

“I guess you’re not eating then, huh, Timmy?”

We’re coming home along the Thruway and decide to stop at McD’s. There’s a woman and smallish kid in front of us getting huffy and I can tell this won’t end well. And in due time she starts yelling at the cashier, “Why is everything more expensive here? This is ridiculous! You’re ripping people off!” and so on, as the…

There are people, more than likely older guys who never got laid in high school, who enjoy making teenage girls cry, more so if attractive...

The first story is one of the few BCO entries that has wrought real, cheek-reddining anger in me. The fucking marker thing!!! Do Sharpies even write on monogrammed thermoses?

Regarding the screaming woman in the pizza place: I did have an occasion once where my then 2.5 year old daughter asked me why some woman was yelling at an employee at my local grocery store. It gave me great pleasure to explain, very loudly, that the yelling woman was mean and nasty and probably very unhappy with her…

The second story reminds me of one of my wife’s tales of waiting tables at Dead Lobster while in grad school.

I would like to co-sign this as “All rational adults.”

And then spray her in the face with the little squirt bottle reserved exactly for these instances of being a horrible person.

I would rather stab my eyeballs with a cocktail fork than eat out on a holiday or go to a bonkers busy restaurant.

Dear dining public:

This entitled housewife looks back at her impressionable child and calmly says “She is yelling because that girl deserves it, the service is terrible every time we come here.” And then she looked me straight in the eyes.

The cherry on top was walking back out after I locked my shit down and the woman’s husband was standing sheepishly at the hostess stand. He handed me a $50 bill and shook his head, saying, “I’m so sorry.”

How do they afford to make a video like this? With the aerial shots and editing I can imagine it costing in the thousands. ugh, rich white ppl. My college experience was just….so different. Mainly, I was a poor minority.

He'd make a great Deadspin commenter.