The other day I noticed a bunch of Oreo crumbs had accumulated in my collarbones while I was eating in bed laying down. Sexy y/n?

do your legs ever chafe w you riding that sanctimony pony so hard?

GOD THE NERVE OF THIS WOMAN TO GO ON LIVING HER LIFE WHEN SHE IS A MOTHER I MEAN WHAT IS NEXT? LEAVING THE HOUSE? INTERACTING WITH OTHER HUMANS?!?!?!?!!? HAVING SEX?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!

Well then she should probably just never drive her child anywhere ever, buy independent testing for every bite of produce in the home to make sure there aren’t any harmful bacteria in the food, and outfit the child with one of these ingenious disaster-stoppers.

And if you end up dead while pregnant, well, we’ll just strap you into an IV and keep your body incubating that fetus.

She continued: “I think when it comes to mothers and breastfeeding, we need to consider that mothers are people, they do things.”

women are legit not allowed to do anything w their own bodies except be fucking brood mares.

Outhouses always scare me for multiple reasons:

Truth. The people in the photos must have some Freddie Krueger-length arms, too. I have a seriously tiny waist and am all kinds of flexible (I can do some truly gross double-jointed stuff with some of my body parts) and I had to get into a really awkward, uncomfortable position to do the trick. Also, it’s already been…

Apropos name is apropos.

I am going to attach #probablyamammal to all my correspondence at home and work today.

Another litmus test on who to delete from various social media.

This makes me feel kinda icky :/

I met him a few times in Toronto and he was roughly... I want to say 5’5” with brown eyes, smile like the sunrise. But in all seriousness, 5’6” at the very tallest.

I’m in the same boat. 23 years old (the comments you get are real) and owner of a bungalow. It was and still is a project house but I’ve been living in it for 5 months and fixing things from highest priority down. It’s very satisfying and where I live, a single bedroom apartment in the high crime part of town is…

I have the exact opposite problem as most people. I sleep a lot. Left to my own devices, I will sleep 12-14 hours a night. That’s not possible on work days, when I only get 9-10 and feel exhausted most of the day. I went to my GP to get checked out, and I don’t have any underlying health issues. Any ideas for what I…

Your robot name = your mother’s maiden name + your social security number

I bet if you did the same experiment with cats, they’d be more likely to take the snack from the person who was an asshole to their owner. Like, yeah hahahahahahaha bro that was awesome. Gimme that treat. Yeah nice one. Suck it, owner.