This feels a bit racist. Why is it that Leigh Anne Tuohy can offer a 16-year old a bed, then cheer wildly when he blocks an explosive sack, but when the man who got her boy paid does it, it's a crime?

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Well, you can only work the Hell's Kitchen beat for so long before you get ideas...

Actually, one year Murphy did try to gain weight - he managed to pack on 25 pounds while still hitting 32 home runs. Unfortunately, that was the year Mike Schmidt put on 32 pounds and hit 37 homers, so, as usual, no one noticed.

I enjoyed this. +1

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Actually, as Justin Theroux recently found out, a little bit of flattery and a lot of wine is the perfect combination to get a sled going quickly down an icy chute.

So the only question that remains is who will be the first player to hit a double and then get thrown out trying to steal first.

Kinja finally proved its worth by producing a funny burner - you were right Nick!

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+1. Drop in when you can. That is what we all seem to do these days.

David, I heard that Ichiro likes to strangle puppies in his spare time. That is probably a horrible slanderous accusation, but I've never heard anyone refute it. Please say it isn't true ... I'll assume silence is a tacit admission.

David, was it difficult to translate from Japanese to sign language?

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Of all the things that a beautiful girl might do to disappoint you, where does bowling poorly rank? I'd put it somewhere between #163 ("once had a roommate whose politics were disagreeable to me") and #117 ("has a vestigial tail"). But how about you?

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Great. +1

I assume that he grew up in a single-parent household in some 'hood where every move he now makes was developed as some sort of gangsta' rap battle dance. I could try to confirm this, but why should I have to be the literate one when these athletes haven't read anything since junior high?

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