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"Sure, Ovie may be in a nice climate temporarily, but I'm closing in on eternal sunshine."

Maybe you took a line drive off your face in the company softball game. Maybe you got elbowed in the nose playing basketball. Or maybe you gnarled your leg on a biking excursion. You get the idea.

MLS fans endlessly bellyache about the concessions MLS makes to casual American sports fans

Seconded. Everyone who reads Deadspin should eat an extra bag or two.

I liked this. Then I actually read the text. Now, I love this.

OK, where is Bronze Hammer when we need him? Perhaps it is the now 96 hours with no sleep over 90 minutes, but while I know this is an encoded joke, I can't figure out the reference.

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In a slight upset, Blackburn Striker S. T. Rye-Kerstriker chose the book that best described his improbable career, Joseph Heller's classic Something Happened

I expect better from women named after a luxury ka'hr and a delicate flowur

I hope you know I was kidding. I really was a comp sci major and worked at three major tech companies in a variety of jobs, some involving coding. In reality, I think programming teaches logic and problem solving skills as well or better than any other practical discipline - you cannot BS a computer into doing what…

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Well, given that the "never had a real job" line was directed explicitly at the "60-year old ex-hippies" from whom the college students of the previous paragraph were learning, I assumed that your objection came from being one of said ex-hippies.

He asked the hooker's age, which ought to be good enough for anyone

I think you are right - I'll just pretend that it is KSK from now, which is a shame because it robs me of 2/3 of the joy of reading Deadspin.

Hey, I'm not a professorist. I like professors. Some of my best friends are professors. Its just that, as a race, professors are a bit more idealistic and sometimes naive about life outside the ivy walls.

I wish I could rant like he does. I'm normally not an angry person, but 4 straight days of essentially no sleep as I adjust to a new baby makes me less tolerant than usual for the 5th straight pompous "I read something online so I'm smart" comment!

I just read Drew's sugar daddy post. It was, as usual, a fantastic read.

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