Also: snot rockets all over the shower walls. Totes acceptable. You must not wash them away, let them harden and use them to exfoliate your back. That’s a free lifehack for you.

Much more importantly, it’s cool to take a big shit in the shower, right? As long as you smush it down the drain with your hairy callused toes? I call that “making shower waffles”.

Also lube. Don’t ask how I know.

“American-lead”

“The Chiefs have dissuaded their fans from engaging in this behavior for years”

“Hookers Upset That Johns Want To Fuck Them In Exchange For Money”

What is the point of the cursor thing? 

lol “controversial”. In exactly the same way that the shape of the Earth is “controversial”.

they’re have none? dawdled?

“hot, lol”

What kind of maniac doesn’t have a lemon?

“Enplug’s sever”

“where in one fight scene he played the part of The Last Dragon’s Sho Nuff was enough to make me think they needed to reboot the movie just so he could play that part”

I used to try and explain about the correct cleaning of cast iron to an old roommate. He would spend an hour and scrub down to shiny gleaming metal. I gave up. He was clearly just doing it to be a dick, but it was his pan. Fuck it.

I used to try and explain about the correct cleaning of cast iron to an old roommate. He would spend an hour and…

Foresight. Like beFORE

Is "forboded" a real word? 

But not odd things?

TLDR usually comes before a short breakdown of the text wall, for the ADD kids.

I often think about how much better the Internet was before all the stupid people showed up.

“Macaw’s an expert at finding old games and strange compilations, a mixture of He played The Golden Flute IV on December 23rd,”