lol, get good scrub

“roll my eyes at anyone who calls it a rip-off”

Also, it’s not a scorpion. It’s a snake. Scorpions can’t swim.

“Boondock’s”

Hadish.

emigrate.

..You and me, obviously.

Invented?

Corrected, kudos.

You don’t know what subscribing means?

Literally. Everything.

*precedent

I constantly have late packages, and they’ve never offered me anything to make up for it.

“They needed food that could take them” 

There’s a birch in my backyard right now that looks just like those.

That has literally never happened.

That is the only reasonable thing that anyone has said on this webpage. Maybe on the entire Internet, ever.

That’s my favorite.

Take my star, dammit

You are wrong. It is a bad tattoo.