I painted, sheared, and adorned one so that she became the Arch-Lich big bad evil guy in the DnD campaign we ran from the time we were 8 to the time we were 12.

I love that too! "Then Justice Scalia asked..."

"Old" here. Can verify Facebook is back up and running. Crisis averted.

I feel like this article could have been written without the "Elizabeth Smart is awesome, in contrast to Jaycee Duggard" angle.

I wouldn't call that voice of moderation, I would call that doubling down on casual racism.