All of the commentary should be done in the voice of Groundskeeper Willie.

I wouldn't be caught dead in a coffin from Costco.

I will support this player protest by not watching the game.

“It’s not that bad getting screwed and used by a 49er and then paid for a job you didn’t do. What does developmentally delayed mean?”

This is all just a viral promotion for the next Jump Street movie.

Pandas get so fat and lazy they don’t even mate, let alone man the hot corner.

I think somedays it was Andy LaRoche disguised as Drake, and he kept bugging Wiliams for a minor league contract or try-out. That’s what really lead to the problem. No way that having a very religious 13 year old with his dad in the clubhouse every day ever presented an awkward moment or changed the culture.

The Braves would have kept him if he would stop bringing his kid to work. Every day.

No, we are saving that term for the Olympics in Rio.

I have always believed that Lacrosse Hoes are bigger douchebags than Lacrosse Bros.

Or...

Thanks, but I will stick with the tips I picked up from Clark Griswold on how to get squirrels out of your house. Seemed to work OK.

The California Angels. Good one, Jim.

Awe...

3. Fake mustache

Who Dey think they are, the Browns?

Thanks for throwing the score of the game in the article.

First the kid now this, we get it Steve. You are str8.

***SPOILER ALERT***

Bring out the Imp!