My Slutty Erick Erickson costume emphasizes literally all body parts I could squish together to create cleavage, including elbows and armpits.

Tiger “What is it today, Joe?”
Lion “Ugh, Christian again.”
Tiger “We’re never getting tacos again are we?”

Liver. WHy am I saying this? Because an overdose of Tylenol can kill your liver and then you die.

How very fucking dare these people threaten violence and commit violence because they aren’t getting their way.

I’ve done multiple assists in flight, and only twice actually have traveled with work id (as close as you get to “credentials”). Usually (now on later occasions) they’ll put you on with a medical team on ground (UPMC) in the more serious case. They’ll ask some probing questions and you’ll get on with treatment. I’m…

I’m already past that point. It’s like the dumbasses on fb who are “praying” Trump doesn’t get elected.

The guns aren’t. Kids are dying. I think I will continue.

I cannot believe the family’s are responsible for the health care costs of a child in the US. It is almost as bad as the gun thing.

Get a flu shot please. And I’m not “not a doctor.”

When my wife went through 40 hours of labor, I was glad that she finally knew what it felt like when I got a cold.

There are many different parenting styles for many different children.

I hope every time he unloads the dishwasher, he gets cold water spilled on his feet. While wearing socks!

I hope every step he takes barefoot will be on a Lego.
I hope he swallows a jack.
I hope his phone never connects to the wifi.

You mean pro-choice, universal health-care Romney? Or guy who got trounced in Massachusetts in 2012 Romney?

Haha! Got those bigoted bastards! Wait, Massachusetts is arguably the most liberal state in the country? But that doesn’t fit the racist legacy of Tom Yawkey (who died over 40 years ago). Ehh, force it anyway.

Nope.

Fuck this asshole. My daughter is autistic. She has been autistic since she was born. I knew there was something different long before she got the MMR vaccine. My daughter being autistic is just who she is. She sees and processed the world differently. That’s okay. I wouldn’t change her even if I could. To me it…

Mmm. Intergenerational conflict. Bring on the Boomers to shake their walkers and the other Millenials to make fun of them with Snapchat filters. As a dedicated Xer, I shall dutifully express my aloofness by rolling my eyes at all of you.

My personal preference is “please clap.”

My LITERAL verbatim reaction, both facially and verbally, accompanied by a gasp that startled my co-workers. I know hate is wrong and poisoning and all of that, but I see shit like this and I instinctively hate that fucking turd with the white-hot intensity of a thousand bursting suns and can confidently state that he…