Every victim of sexual assault and rape needs to tell their story in their own time, if ever.

Not hide it, stop sharing it with random strangers on the internet as if that would help him. There’s a nuance.

The vampire battle between energy vampire Colin and emotional vampire Evie was the funniest thing I’ve seen all year.

“can we talk about how Piers Morgan’s fucked up books were my introduction to sex???”

[Five years from now . . . ]

It’s exactly what I wanted it to be. There was no need to reinvent the wheel here, this particular wheel works great. More wheels please.

What about tackling and strangling someone? Maybe that’s not a sex offense, but surely tackling and strangling someone is against the law, whether you masturbate on them or not? How did he not get jail time for that?

That sounds mean spirited even for a typical prank show. 

I mean, I think it’s safe to assume that at least 90% of the “assassins” online are police honeypots

I knew I was Too Old For This Shit when I saw a preview for this show before GoT, where one of the characters says “This is the feeling I’ve been looking for all my life”. Me: “What are you, 16? Calm down.”

JACKPOT! I get to bash Woody Allen. The best part is that I feel I could’ve taken him down any time since I turned twelve, maybe even ten. and I’m sure Ronan Farrow will be happy to buy some tickets to the event.

Let’s see, who was born in 1946 that I would want to fight. Oh, it seems one Donald Trump would be in this category. Bring it on you piece of rotting cantaloupe.

75 years old I could be paired up against:

Never been to a comic con Q and A I take it?

Imagine your worst ideas of Q and A and then multiply it by a thousand. Inane bullshit declarations of love, borderline and over the border superiority complexes of knowing more about some comic characters bathroom habits, shit requests for selfies in front of thousands,…

A personal favorite is the “Hi my name is John and I don’t have a question, it’s more of a comment and...” followed by 3 minutes of self-referential drivel. 

It can’t possibly be that hard to have some sort of app that allows audience members to submit questions to the moderator, and the moderator can choose from there. This is the obvious solution.

Matt from Dinosaur Dracula, one of the most-visited and longest-running nostalgia sites around. (He prefers not to give his last name.)

The Stand! That wonderful, terrifying book has haunted me for decades. The scene (I don’t think you can have a spoiler for a book that was written 40 years ago, but still, stop right here if you’re eagerly looking at a new copy and thinking “what COULD this be about?” ...) where the car the infected lab worker and his…

Hold up! No one would sign off on the euthanasia but they let her die of starvation?

“and a photo showed Franken grabbing a fellow USO performer’s breasts.”