Co-owner? Tom used his daddy’s money to buy the team. So if you want to get technical, Joe owns the team and lets his kids play with it. 

Those racists emails are so embarrassing, every racist parent I know is using Facebook now.

I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi!

just a guy hanging with his bud!

“Just as Kavanaugh did some stuff when he was drunk at age 15, allegedly, you’re going to hold that against him now? That’s just fundamentally wrong.”

It’s pretty obvious what happened.  There was no bear.  It was Bigfoot.

At least he remembers what’s important...You got the nuts...Fuck it.

Slapped first, then thrown under the bus,

Never good to come off half-Coxed. Full Cox or burst.

It sounds like Average Anna has a pretty good time until she gets married and has kids.  That was obviously her mistake.

This explains why the Vikings can’t win in the playoffs. A common motivating tactic among coaches, especially when one feels overmatched, is to remind their players that their opponent put on their pants the exact same way they do. Sadly for the Vikings, they know from the beginning that this isn’t true and the game…

I would refer to Jimmy Butler as “everything bread” because he is good at everything, but a little too salty for my tastes. 

+1 sour dough

It’s like those discount baskets of bread you find at the supermarket. Sure, you’re getting a deal, but then the baguette calls you a pussy and you realize why it was so easy to acquire.

By reading the testimony — what happened was clearly him and a group of friends taking advantage of someone who was in a highly compromised position. The defense was essentially “she’s a slut and by hanging around with us had it coming because ‘we men’.”

Oh my god. This immediately brought to mind the scene in Kill Bill where the hospital attendant had been assaulting her while she was in her coma and just jesus fucking christ. This poor woman.

But, but...they took the time to tape out a “Safety Rectangle” area on the roof, so it must be safe!

I don't care who you are, or if you're a fan of Chuck. That's a damn sweet story, and he sounds like a really good person to be friends with.

If Michael Jordan played today he’d make MJ from the 90's look like a chump, because he’d put in all the work necessary to take full advantage of every advance that’s been made in training, nutrition, “supplements” (wink wink), current trends in gameplay, etc. He was a great athlete to be sure, but what makes all of…