I like the author but for some reason found this particular piece quite hard on reading comprehension, I gave up in a few places.

Another example of how science is *oh so very important* - and that we can’t *ever* let the immature superstitious theocrats hijack curriculums, legislation, etc. and take us back to the dark ages.

I’m confused by what Tracy is saying about communication.

Practice makes perfect!

As someone who generally sucks at talking and is probably pretty bad at screwing too, this hardly fills me with confidence.

I am very sorry that you feel that way. I dealt with sexual pain too although mine was not related to abuse, just anxiety due to having been raised Catholic. It was hard to overcome but I did it. I’m in a great place now and free of pain. I hope this gives you some hope!

Oh geez, candles and background music are just so not a thing for me. Though we did once have They Came Together on in the background and let me tell you, laughing at an amazing joke and trying not to giggle to death while... down and busy... is something of a breathing hazard

Wow.

The findings of a study are just some observations, hardly “tips.” I think any “tip” implication in this article has more to do with thinking about these things throughout a relationship, not helping to save a marriage that has already begun to tank. And it might not necessarily be about how to change either…

I’m going to disagree because shit happens (job losses, miscarriages, parents/ friends deaths, illness, parenting challenging kids) and even the best relationships have rocky patches. Tips on how to deal when the communication and/ or the sex stops because of life’s downs can be helpful.

After just about 15 years we reached the point where we have to try finally. Thanks a lot, life. But the great thing is that we are actually getting the hell out of the house here and there. Found a good sitter so every couple weeks when he’s home we head out and just talk and laugh. Everybody needs to do this. Why…

Hmmmm..... cake

They say that contempt is the one reliable metric with which to predict lastingness in marriage. You cannot get past contempt.

obvi
yet doesn’t *have* to be, if people shake up out of the internets + Netflix trance every once in a while...

I wear lingerie once in a while. It's fun. And it makes me feel sexy which is hard after 20+ years together, two kids, working all day, etc. But usually it's after work mom clothes coming off. - yoga pants and oversized t-shirts.

Find someone who can ignore most of your bullshit and shares your definition for the ideal level of closeness, then marry the crap out of them.

I did, until I had kids and now I NEED THE DARK. Three C sections were not kind.

I don’t bother, lol. He hasn’t requested it and I don’t think I would feel comfortable now that I’m fat. We just get naked.

Sadly, yes. I love my guy, but I’m the 27%

In a long term relationship? Definitely.