Tomorrow begins... The Tantrum

I have a hard time believing that anyone eating 50 bananas a day is “promoting a movement”

Carob?

These debates and this election in general has given me a whole new level of appreciation for J.K. Rowling. She trolls the Trump trolls so well.

Okay, so if Key and Peele did Obama’s Anger Translator, can Jessica Walter be Clinton’s Attitude translator? Just keep her handy at all times to make faces and dismissive comments?

Michelle Obama, Mother of America has a nice ring to it.

I have dual citizenship, and I just want to say that all you guys are great AND fuck off.

“Because now Canada thinks they’re better than us.”

Who let them out of the Springs??

Suppression of the free press...

Melania wasn’t throwing shade; she still fully supports her husband.

Let’s be fair. Deeply troubled women are certainly the only who have had enthusiastic sex with Donald Trump.

At first I thought that said “a couch” and I was nodding in agreement.

This is fucked up on so, so many levels more important than this, but: karate is Japanese. They can’t even get their racism right.

Lol this dude’s Twitter is the bodyguard equivalent of Pippa Middleton’s parody “Pippa Tips” account!

How amazing it must be, living in a coastal city. In Chicago, where there is nothing and your only friend is the demonic avatar of winter riding a fixed gear bicycle, you’re lucky if you find an old broken acoustic guitar lying in a trash heap somewhere so you can pluck tuneless melodies next to a space heater until…

You think Chris O’Dowd is ugly???? He’s a cutie patootie with an Irish accent.

I’m gonna cross stitch “Here there be assholes” frame it and hang it in my entry hall.

Who’s more sensitive, someone who experiences emotional distress at discussions of sexual assault, or someone who experiences emotional distress over a sign warning people who might feel emotional distress at discussions of sexual assault?

Yup. And next time if you don’t use all the pesto, add a layer of olive oil to cover the top and/or a layer of plastic wrap. Just keep the air off it. (See also guacamole.)