[Hits you with a folding chair]

3. NBC and the WWE like money.

My dad, brother and I went to the XFL championship game (aka The Million Dollar Game), mostly for the novelty. How popular was the league at the end? Well let me put it this way: the game was on a Saturday and we bought the tickets on Thursday.

Each XFL logo is perfect in its ugliness. I wouldn't be surprised if the Chicago Enforcers logo is now being used by a white supremacist organization.

His surprise "No" vote on Elaine Chao (McConnell's wife) was a sign that he's now ready to fight. Hopefully this new spine of his will stay.

Garland just needs to remember where he put the Money In The Bank briefcase.

Counter Point: National television is the exact place to punch a Nazi. Nazis should never have a national platform to spread their hate.

Oddly, I had the opposite reaction and thought "Ray Stevens, the novelty singer?"

Call me when you can play Doom on a Furby.

Great, someone's been leaking classified information to your friends.

Cartoon penises, apparently.

Everything from the Biden-Ryan debate was fantastic.

Get a job, grouch!

Trump says he's not going to start working until Monday; so we've got a whole weekend before we die.

March 17, 1861

Well, here's the first one and the second one doesn't air until Tuesday evening here in the States.

The other night, I saw a car with a sticker on its window reading "Got Bon Jovi?" in the "Got Milk?" font. I thought it was odd, but not truly strange until I saw the license plate read JOVI (heart)R.

Popes Freshenmeyer

HERE COMES THE FLOOD!

I went on a date once with a girl who said her celebrity crush was Nick Swardson. There was no second date.