The other day I noticed a bunch of Oreo crumbs had accumulated in my collarbones while I was eating in bed laying down. Sexy y/n?

Jeez Neil, you’re about as inspiring as David Suzuki.

See, that was the thing. It was just supposed to be one last job. Just one. Enough to hit that big final score and then retire to sunny beaches where the cute girls brought you fruity drinks with too many umbrellas sticking out of them.

If you love Bear Attacks, read Death in Yellowstone. You’ll get bonus “people jumping in geysers after their dog got away” stories. :/

Mark, if you, like me, owned a dogeared copy of Bear Attacks, you’d know the park ranger maxim “a fed bear is a dead bear.” That’s because bears, when they begin to associate humans with food, often escalate to attacking humans when they realize that they’re made of meat.

Can we talk about the costumes?

And I know I won’t be on my death bed wishing I had eaten fewer slices of pecan pie and stared at CNN with grinding teeth as I walked to nowhere at Ballys.

I had a coworker at my last job who was routinely furious that, even though I was fat and she wasn’t, I still allowed myself to enjoy food while she subsisted in Lean Cuisine and fat-free yogurt. It made her SO angry, and she just couldn’t shut up about it—she’d hover around my cubicle at lunch time and make comments…

Let me tell you about what life is like as a fat sexworker. My job involves sharing photos of myself as a strong, sexy, sexual woman, in varying degrees of undress. It involves me setting a figure - a not inexpensive one, either - on what I feel access to my body is worth.

This, for a myriad of reasons, makes some men…

I swear he gets it right on his own every time. I’ll video him. This is how I do it.

It isn’t. And it won’t. We’ve been accepting schlubby men in sitcoms and in some instances even holding them up as sex symbols for years. The wife is always hot. She’s expected to be hot.

And of course Lenny Kravitz didn’t close out. Trombone Shorty did.

I count calories and you don’t have to be rude about it. Maybe you don’t need to worry about calories, but I’m short and I get fat very quickly if I’m just eating random handfuls of food and hoping I burn off the excess. BTW a handful of nuts has an insane amount of calories. I eat raw almonds and nut butters but I…

The Japanese market has always been where we did our beta testing. People didn’t respond to the red hair or the burger selling so subject 7 was upgraded to be slightly more “Germany-Friendly” and be weirdly into cats.

“seeds” :/

the best

You are correct. Duck tongues are delicious. I mean, I felt a little bad eating them, but damn, they're like concentrated ducky goodness.

@palegirl: I put up VV Brown, whose style I'd recently become a fan of. Until people actually clicked the thumbnail to see the large version, even my sister thought it was me.