4 to 5 sexual partners and 2 to 3 committed relationships by age 27 is literally me. I feel good about it. Sounds like Average Anna and I would be good friends! 

My important takeaway from Average Anna was that her husband needed to contribute more around the house, and stop taking her for granted. Maybe if he would talk at the dinner table instead of playing with his phone, she wouldn’t be so likely to have an affair, I’m just saying.

Also, apparently, one in five average Annas have a “serious” porn addiction...so on average, one in five women has a serious porn addiction (because Anna is average, after all). I guess it’s all in the definition of “serious” and “addiction”.

He tweeted that he served them Hamberders. That HE paid for. Because he doesn’t own a hotel a couple blocks away that has a fully staffed restaurant/kitchen that could have brought food in.

So besides everything else with how ridiculous this is, (including the fact that he bragged about patinvt for it with his "own" money) all I could think about was how it had probably been sitting out, at room temp for a minute, and how absolutely disgusting McDonald's is when it's not served piping hot. Like, it's not…

By the time that food was cooked, delivered to the White House, and put on display for photo ops, it had to be at least two hours at best. Yum. Cold fast food beef.

While “I love you alive” is definitely an odd thing to say, i think ALL sexts in just plain written form are going to be cringeworthy. Whenever you read someone elses sexts its the least sexy thing on the planet, but when you’re alone at night, tipsy, horny, and giddy with anticipation suddenly those sexts are…

The deer is definitely Peyton Manning

I’M HOOKED. I think the peacock is Hasselhoff! Deer is 1000000% Bradshaw.

I don’t know who the Lion is

Deer is 100% Terry. I thought the Monster might be T-Pain just based on the autotune part of his intro and the fact that he was a great singer. CeeLo is too good though.

I thought Nichole Richie for the unicorn and Khloe Kardashian for the lion for some reason.

We kinda loved it, but I also guessed Peacock was Donny Osmond... but in the clip package, Antonio Brown was holding a fucking baseball bat...

The only thing that will shock me is if the peacock is NOT Donny Osmond.  I was generally bored with the show last night and probably won’t watch again, just check online to see the reveals.

I thought the Peacock might be David Hasselhoff. Had the same thoughts on Monster and Unicorn. Lion might be Rumer Willis?

The lion is one of the Kardashians.

Ooh, those are good!

My money’s on the lion being a Kardashian.

If the show was live I don’t think it could have been Donny. He had a stroke in England yesterday.

Monster is 100% without a doubt in my mind T-Pain.