I’ll be the first to admit I still need to do a lot of work, but I am sincere in my determination to make up for all the hurtful comments about hamsters I have made in the past.

You call yourself “reformed” but your comments leave that in doubt. 

Marvel directors don’t trust me with scripts just because I have a face tattoo that reads “I LOVE TO SPY FOR DC” and another face tattoo that reads “PHOTOGRAPHING SCRIPTS WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING SPRING BREAK 2011.” This is discrimination.

shitpissfuckcuntcocksuckermotherfucker&tits

Hmmm...

“The people have spoke-the bastards.”-Dick Tuck

You can get paid for that? Hell, I’d do it for free!

I know several couples who suddenly both separated from their previous spouses. It was not a coincidence.

And it was apparently made back when producers would say, “Get me a Shannon Elizabeth type!”

I don’t remember Mean Girls being a kids movie.

I bet you’re really fun at parties.

Nope, according to my sources, they’re currently vetting George Lazenby as the new CEO.

“We did some damage in the 80s.”

Which seems counterintuitive because I drink even more water when I’m drinking.

Didn’t seem to do her any harm...

I wish someone had told me what a grind it was

To me, this sounds not like a pedestrian safety issue as much as someone with a grudge against police recruits.

I gotta say, I don’t know whether it’s because I’m getting older or if it’s because I don’t follow comics nearly as much as I used to, but all of this just seems…exhausting.

Quit complaining, guppy!

It’s true. I know three people personally, all nobodies like myself with a 100 or so followers, and two of them had Musk go from blocked to muted and for the other Musk was just unblocked entirely. It’s utterly bizarre. And apparently even people who have him blocked (or reblocked him) are still having his tweets show…