Hydrogen Peroxide also works great on blood. Good for when the misses is surprised by Aunt Flo (or you need to clean a murder scene, I guess, I’m not asking questions)

A drunk girlfriend has vomited due to a bj during a car ride.

She wanted to give me head while I was driving, which I objected to for minutes (I know, I know, my will was sooo strong), until I was like “fuck it, country road at night, I’m going 30mph, what could go wrong”.

She was giving me head and deep throated,…

Not to mention every Busta album prior to Y2K (Anarchy, Extinction Level Event, all the skits talking about the end of times)

I used to be such an Eminem stan until he dropped Encore. It’s like every verse he’s dropped since 2005 is so mediocre

Do they serve Kopi Luwak? If not, talk about a missed opportunity.

Definitely recommend an IP camera as well, mine is just pointed at the front door and sends me pictures to my email.

Also, Windows key + C opens Cortana in listening mode

She takes a few tries to register my “Hey Cortana” sometimes so instead of asking twice (while refusing to retrain my voice due to laziness), I just hit the shortcut

I love the new Start Menu (enough that I didn’t reinstall the replacement I used with Windows 8).

Moving to a big city in North Carolina was great for my service since in my country ass home town, T-Mobile couldn’t do nothing for me lol

Complaining to my SO/friends about my IT work problems makes me feel like a genius but I’m positive I sound really dumb

“What’s wrong?”
Man I told the networking guys to register the wired MAC addresses three days ago so the refreshed workstations would be grabbing IPs by the weekend, but we can only have a certain…

This is still my shit! Favorite song on a great soundtrack

I never understood why Snoop was so popular until I bought this album. I thought he was such a weak rapper with a stereotypical gangsta/pimp persona. But Doggystyle is truly a “top 10 of all time” album.

Wow, somebody’s hopping on EVERY SINGLE discussion and calling people “insane” and “delusional” for liking these designs.

They look waaaay more badass than that current sausage fest

I would rather play this with the all female badasses

As for the boobs question, I think genitalia is a whole other league. I don’t think titties should really be seen as explicit, anymore than a pretty face, sexy legs, sexy abs, etc.

WHOOP WHOOP! That’s the sound of the police!

Bought my 64GB OnePlus One new, no financing or anything. Same with the Nexus 4 before that one

You’re right, didn’t work on my clean installed, not-reserved Windows 7 machine. It asked for my Windows activation key and didn’t work when I typed the valid Win 7 key.

I refuse to take care of drunk people. It’s gotten so bad with my shitty friends that I get drunk by myself now (and as far as they know, I just don’t drink no more). They got too many damn personal problems to drink and they take em out on everyone (emotionally and physically). If you’re having mental issues,…

I used to play it online all the time! Man, I haven’t played Flash games in years. I wonder what the games look like now