ETOOMANYBALDWINS

1994's The Shadow seemed to basically be the result of a lot of people saying “why didn’t we cast Adam Baldwin as Bruce Wayne” and while I like Baldwin a lot as an actor it was really not very good.

Or, hear me out, how about we do literally anything else.

I think a thing that cannot be given enough credit for Batman as a phenomenon in 1989 was the brilliant, omnipresent ad campaign for it. An instantly iconic zoomed-in view of the bat-logo chestpiece (with a bunch of specular highlights, because it was 1989 and Kai Power Tools was a thing), with nothing below it but…

For real.  As any lawyer will tell you: the best client is a client who will SHUT THE FUCK UP when you ask him or her to, and good clients...are rare.

“Kiss from a Rose” isn’t a “karaoke staple”, it’s the canonical karaoke trap song: you think you know the lyrics, meter and melody, and you’re pretty sure it doesn’t have any notes out of your range and you can sing it decently well, and you are laughably fucking incorrect on all counts. (Unless you’re the kind of…

RIP to one of the great character actors of our generation. Like his contemporary Christopher Lee, he seemed incapable of giving a bad performance, even when occasionally stuck in bad movies. He single-handedly elevated the otherwise wretched “From Hell” from “unwatchably bad” to “intermittently entertaining”, just…

Sigh. The funny thing is, I think everyone in his orbit or one or two orbits away knew one or two “Ellis stories”: an ex of mine used to tell a story of a friend of hers getting walked in on by her boyfriend while she was camming with Ellis and it was a great laugh-riot drinking tale. The old beardo daddy had 22 year…

Natasha Lyonne is a fascinating idea. She’s obviously movie-star gorgeous in real life, but Russian Doll showed that she can look pretty lived-in with the right makeup and costume and she can absolutely do smarter-than-she-looks.

...so basically season 8 of Brooklyn 99 becomes the never-filmed season 3 of Sledge Hammer?

Someone on twitter was suggesting that they just pull a full Archer: with no explanation, have the exact same cast and characters except in a completely different setting.

Honestly I’d be happy with him having a nice, unremarkable career as a journeyman 2nd or 3rd stringer on a handful of teams until his early 40s at a few million/year and I suspect his tendons and ligaments wouldn’t be too put out by that plan either.

First viral video? My god, children, no.  No no no.  Did you even consider talking to anyone over the age of 40?

Ditto on Talk to Me:

Musk is a headcase, but unlike Tesla where he gets to completely indulge his Preston Tucker cosplay fantasies 24/7 and there’s really nobody to tell him “no”, SpaceX employs a bunch of stone cold professional actual-rocket-scientists any of whom could make just as much money with a lot less agita somewhere else and…

It warms my heart that Ted is leaning into the hot gay dad look.

It’s hard to overstate how important Kramer and ACT UP were to the experience of growing up queer in the 90s. For a good couple of years there, it really seemed like being gay was going to be the death sentence that the evangelicals had always wanted it to be, and that we were all gonna fucking die. The New York Times…

Pretty sure she was doing regular long-from (looooooooooong-form) updates on her website before she and Gaiman hooked up, although I won’t claim to have exhaustive knowledge of the timeline there.

A got. Damn. Legend.  People will read the simple facts of his life and have a hard time believing it.  Little Richard died, but more importantly, Little Richard lived.

Still, to this day, the single worst date movie I have ever gone on, but it did leave me with a lifetime appreciation for Morrison as an actor.