Better plan: slam your hand in a car door repeatedly and then use the $8 to buy yourself a fancy ice cream.  You’ll feel better, I promise.

Better plan: slam your hand in a car door repeatedly and then use the $8 to buy yourself a fancy ice cream.  You’ll…

I feel safer already!  

Eh, put ‘em on stubhub, you never know.

W/R/T our “easy to follow” immigration rules, I am always happy to remind people of the existence of this succinct little cartoon:

That is literally not how any of this works.

Like Brandon Routh in Superman Returns, Henry Cavill spends a lot of his time in Jesus Christ poses

Ironically, eight years later I’ve mellowed a little bit on Moffat: the Capaldi era was a bit of a return to form, and he finally managed to make River work again as a character with “The Husbands of River Song.”

Spider-Man: Euro-Trip

It’s a fair cop. Red Son was the reason I gave Millar more indulgence than he merited, but it was definitely a case of a concept being so good that we all ignored the wobbliness of the execution. I’ll go so far as to say that Red Son was more or less pretty good, but imagine if an actually competent writer had been…

The whole cast of kids they assembled for these films is a goddamn treasure.

BUT: Superior Spider-Man, while insanely dumb on its own, is what gave us Superior Foes of Spider-Man, AKA the best thing Marvel has published in the last 20 years other than NEXTWAVE.

That fucking comic was the moment (frankly an embarrassing number of years too late) when I finally hit limit with Millar. Never, ever again: that was some of the most rancid shit I have ever read. Todd McFarlane would have been embarrassed to put his name on that.

“Don’t fuck with the Mouse.” —Harlan Ellison, RIP

If nothing else, I’d really love to know the backstory on this one. Keanu is not at the point in his career where he needs to do a goddamn thing other than roll around in a giant pile of Matrix residual checks, so he usually takes on passion projects and his taste in them has normally been pretty solid.

NEXTWAVE OR GTFO

PUT THIS

GnR at the Philly Spectrum on the Use Your Illusion tour was, hands down, one of the four or five best shows I’ve seen in my life. They played more or less nonstop for four hours, did two long encores, and it ended with Axl — who apparently had the stomach flu and was rushing backstage between songs to barf into a…

For real.  If someone can make Bruce Willis actually show up and pay attention on a film set, that’s cause for celebration even if the movie ends up being C+ dumped-in-January dreck.

This is one of those things that makes me really sad when I think about it. To this day the definitive R1 release of Hard Boiled (HARD FUCKING BOILED! The zero point of 20 years of action cinema!) is the pack-in blu-ray that accompanied the justifiably mostly forgotten 2007 PS3 “sequel,” Stranglehold.

Yeah, Face/Off really was the one glorious moment when Woo managed to make an actual John Woo film in Hollywood. Then for better or worse The Matrix came along and finally nailed both the aesthetic and logistical synthesis, which turned out to be American directors and Chinese stunt/fight coordinators.