~Andy Borowitz

Yeah, but have you considered that he sounded nice, and he publicly thanked a war widow? Important stuff! I think we need to start giving him some credit.

The interviewer then asked Stoudemire if he was joking, and he failed to accept the lifeline. “I mean, there’s always a truth within a joke,” he said.

... and then getting hit over the head with the Korbel.

Replacing Durant with Barnes is like replacing Dom Perignon with a bottle of Korbel that’s been open for a week and a half.

That is not shade.

The universe is off its axis when the most effective troller of Trump is the former right-of-center president of Mexico.

‘Memba when?

I teach high school and I will NEVER break up a girl fight. Boys, just stand in between them, tell everybody to calm down, it’s all over. Girls have been planning this shit for MONTHS, they will bring up petty shit from like kindergarten and they are out to murder anyone and everyone in their way. NOPE.

I’m Wolf Blitzer, and I’m entirely unhelpful.

Meanwhile, Olympic-level trolling inside:

Stop with the lies! This is the un-photoshopped picture

I also don’t think they understand that women’s bathrooms have stalls. They seem to think a trans woman is gonna go into a women’s restroom, hike up her skirt and use a urinal.

This just shows you how isolated in their little bubble these people are. This guy clearly doesn’t know any trans people in real life; they are just some boogey-men out there that he imagines looks like John Cleese in a dress and acts like a sex-crazed lunatic. Faced with an actual, real-life trans person who just…

“Kick rocks you old bastard” is my favorite phrase in the whole exchange. That’s some classic stuff right there.

Whatever it means, I’m pretty sure I - a white guy - should never use it.

From that photograph, it looks like Streep could play Lagerfeld in a bio-pic. And you know she would be fabulous in it.

“He tells it like it is, but he doesn’t mean what he says.”

I know a guy who was a gay vegan who voted for Trump because “I’m tired of career politicians” who is now shocked that he is rolling back GLBTQ and animal rights. He said “He doesn’t believe what he says, he used to be a Democrat, he just says stuff to rile up the base, once he’s in he’ll be even more liberal than…