I personally like to do a “Greatjob, good team effort, we really left everything out on the field. High Fives all around!” I find it keeps the mood light and great laughs to be had.

I think the words people do and don’t feel comfortable using for sex are super interesting, like I don’t mind calling it fucking but “making love” gives me the heebies even though I don’t engage in casual sex. A friend of mine has a theory that you should only have sex with people who use the same terms as you because…

Awe. I actually do boop my husband on the nose like he's a little bunny. He suffers so much being married to me.

My personal preference is “please clap.”

Seems a little weird/creepy to me.

OK, brand matters there. We have a greyhound and she is useless as a crumb vacuum.

I LOVED the SNL sketch “Dylan McDermott or Dermot Mulrooney”...they had 3 black guys as contestants on that game show where they just had to guess which guy was which, and never were able to. They then flipped the script and said next time it’ll be “Djimon Hounsou or Chiwetel Ejiofor” and they were all pissed like “I…

The Rock is the one my grandmother likes.

Replacing “splice” with “fuck” makes this a lot funnier.

The Secret Service...had to protect a reporter...FROM A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE AND HIS CROWD. I just....

If Trump becomes president, do you think the Secret Service’s job will be to protect the rest of us from him?

These are all ‘shopped.

I just developed a crush on whoever made these

I think an important component in this is our culture’s obsession with gaslighting women. Any time women have sincere dietary needs due to chronic hormonal or gastrointestinal illnesses, people assume that they’re lying and just trying to lose weight, or are hysterical and have an unhealthy body image. Think about it:…

This sounds like my worst nightmare. Here’s some gluten-free artwork you can at least enjoy.

Also, an optional nice bit of gear to have is of the 4-legged canid variety. Ours was most efficient when it comes to disposing of stray Cheerios or peas that my daughter gleefully tossed on the floor as she transitioned to solid foods. Barkuuming for the win!

What the fuck are you doin Phil

I love that Kevin Durant is the one who posted the Instagram photo. One of my fave parts of the Olympics is seeing athletes from other sports watching events and cheering each other on.

With a fever that high, I guess it shows that even Olympic horses can be too hot to trot.

The “Unsinkable Molly Brows” option will.