The weddings are ridiculous. I encourage all my wife's friends to elope.

I love that Lampard, Pirlo and Villa each make more than everyone on the Red Bulls combined.

As always, Haisley takes an interesting quote filled with nuance - one which raises really intriguing questions about MLS and it’s place in the world - and reduces it into an MLS hit piece.

“If Conte didn’t play Giovinco much when they were a few yards away from each other on the bench at Juve, it makes sense that the manager wouldn’t play him now.”

Were we supposed to chuckle at Sporting Real Charlotte FC? Because I just stopped reading instead.

Passaic River or GTFO

In my entire life watching American sports, I’ve never been bothered by the fact that the schedule is often unbalanced. This is especially true given that we have playoffs. Limiting MLS to 18 or 20 teams so that they could have a balanced schedule seems like a solution in search of a problem.

And England has 90+ professional teams in the top 4 tiers in a country half the size of California. The US and Canada have maybe 55. We don’t have the infrastructure to support teams on a national basis unless they come in at a higher level. And it’s not like there are tons of clubs ready to spring up once the pyramid…

Nah, fuck all that. THE MESSIAH IS HERE HYPE TRAIN ALL ABOARD

If we’re to believe a certain other soccer columnist here, this is all because the MLS doesn’t have promotion/relegation.

It’s almost as if a platform of getting fanboys fired up by throwing shade at the domestic league and repeating “comfort zone” and other platitudes over and over again isn’t a substitute for actual coaching and tactical acumen.

Tim Howard showed why he was dropped from Everton’s XI last night. Man looked old.

I’m convinced Klinsmann is a Manchurian Coach, sent to keep the Yanks in their place by destroying what was recently an ascendent team.

In the past, we tried the European style of league, with every team being an individual entity, it was called NASL...and it blew up fairly quickly. (There’s a new NASL that is already blowing up the same way and they suck from a competitive standpoint) The structure is there to ensure there’s a viable league, it’s…

Ah yes, big-team favoring, oh-so-rigged MLS, which just gave us the Portland-Columbus final that makes sponsors cream their jeans.

I am basing that comment off of everything Haisley has ever written about MLS on Deadspin. He has a weird ax to grind way above and beyond what is logical. He trashes it every opportunity that he gets.

Billy Haisley fucking hates MLS, so if that’s where you’re getting much of your information about the league, it’s no surprise that you have a dim view. No one that is involved in MLS or follows/enjoys MLS considers the league to be on par with those in Europe. They just push back on people like Billy that…