Me too! Love me some Britney Haynes.

It's currently on my face!!! This makes me so happy.

It's currently on my face!!! This makes me so happy.

Just received this message from Jane, who's on the road as we speak:

With things like Ice Road Truckers and Duck Dynasty on tv as well as former ‘hits’ like Honey Boo Boo and Jersey Shore, you’re going to rip on Lip Sync Battle which is - while a bit bloated for four songs and definitely lacks an appealing host - entertaining and relatively family friendly?

When my wife was bald and in chemo, I'd have given anything to have to deal with random hair around the house. When she first started chemo, it fell out in giant clumps, leaving a halo of her naturally blonde hair on her pillow and wherever she sat. Eventually, she asked me to shave her head and that was when it all…

Of all the things that shouldn’t be a show, this is your choice? Storage Wars? Some show on Pawn Shops? Everything on FOXNews? You have better candidates for hate! But, rant on.

Ay gurl!

You can. Keeblers makes them under different names!

[Pushes alter_ego off a cliff] [nobody blames me]

If this is true, I am the filthiest, filthiest woman in the world.

No, that’s a myth. And married sex is actually a mitzvah (a holy good deed) in Jewish tradition. You’re also supposed to give your wife an orgasm, where possible. They’re just being dickheads about where they sit.

Well, you literally said that carbs are evil. That is just not true. Not all carbs are the same, and some are not good, full stop, but to say that all carbs are bad and that humans shouldn’t eat carbs is just not true.

Just cyber stalked Jenny Slate (as you should) on twitter and saw this video:

dude, she’s a teenager. She said, “When life gives you lemons, throw them at boys.” And your response to that is:

Can we talk about Emojis for a minute? I am lazy and haven’t updated my iOS to 8.2.whateverrrr and I don’t have the new emojis. But the replacement for a POC emoji is... well, this is what I got yesterday:

There’s no such thing as too much bread.

This is absolutely true which is what I said in the post.

Totally of topic but your story at the beginning just reminded me of when me and my sister used to pretend to get married.