I find it most irritating when it’s presented as some sort of new thing, rather than something humans in many cultures probably thought of within seconds of discovering how to boil water.

Yes. Only peons call it “stock” or “fonde”, just like only peons call lavash “flatbread”.

Really not what you want to see regarding things entering your body, it is? Like, if you went to a restaurant and saw Bulgogi “Beef”, you SHOULD have questions. Or if a guy texts his girlfriend ‘I want to “finger” you’, she should seek full clarity before agreeing.

I was just about to say that, those are the best!

And why are so many things on the menu surrounded by quote marks?

Isn’t that the stuff the elves give to Frodo when he leaves Rivendell?

i want to eat it, but also feel like i should bathe with it.

I so roundly hate the very IDEA that my food needs to be tweezed into place...

I was confused reading all those dishes. Rich people are fucking weird. Just a goddamn steak or chicken breast, or veggie ramen. Half of that crap sounds like ingredients for an insufferable spell crafted by a steampunk warlock.

I mean, it’s a particular type of flatbread.

My niece is a toddler and eats what seems to me like a bizarre number of snacks, all tiny little portions on her mother’s big white plates. I’m going to recreate this dish for her next time I visit.

I hadn’t heard that term before. Is it going to be the new “bone broth”?

my favorite is a review of Sushi of Gari where the person essentially bitches about not being able to control what they were served when they asked for the omakase (sp?), which is literally ordering “chef’s choice”

Someone was definitely feeling desperate for approval of the youths.

Also, I know everyone is an obnoxious foodie these days but “oat lavash”? It’s bread. I didn’t ask for its life story.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

In high school, my best friend’s dad filled his bong with red wine, smoked us a sesh, then DRANK THE WINE when we were done because otherwise ‘it’s wasteful’.

It tasted....as you’d expect.

I just hurked a bit in my mouth

This is like how there’s nothing better than reading bad Yelp reviews of very good restaurants. My favorite was a review of Sushi Nakazawa, a NYC sushi bar run by one of Jiro Ono’s apprentices (the guy in the documentary who cries over properly making egg custard). Paraphrasing, the yelp review for Sushi Nakazawa said…

i havent smoked weed in like 2 years but reading ‘bong water’ made me thinking of accidentally inhaling it when i would overfill the bong and now my stomach hurts