These are the moments we’ll remember sitting ‘round the cracklin’ fire burning in the ol’ garbage can, gnawing on rat\pidgeon pate’ in the future Trump States Of Bigly Greatness. Oh, look over yonder....’shroom cloud. Must be Tuesday.

True story: I knew more out and proud racist fucks during the 20+ years I lived in Chicagoland than I’ve known in the 20+ I’ve lived in the Deep South. This story surprises me not at all.

Saks Jandel was my first thought, as well. Good thing People magazine rang them: “There’s never been less demand for inaugural ballgowns in my 38 years. Never ever has it been less for the inaugural.”

Guns don’t lose luggage. People lose luggage.

It also assumes that the world is markedly better for your existence in a way that somehow justifies something horrible happening to someone else (or many other people). I’d say that’s true for like .000000001% of the world population. If you didn’t exist, probably everything would be fine. In the case of this guy,…

Is there a way to make Brandon Smith feel the pain of every forced childbirth?

It’s a lazy argument. I could whine about a ton of bad things, historically, that led to my birth. Poverty is good! If there hadn’t been poverty in Italy, my great-grandparents wouldn’t have come to the U.S., met, and had my grandpa! War is good! If there hadn’t been a war over the Austrian succession, my…

Trump is going to SAVE healthcare. Didn’t you hear? He’s going to take Obamacare and call it Trumpcare, and everyone in Pensatucky is going to be so healthy. Healthiest coal miners you’ll ever see!

So many women in DC want to marry me that the marriage store is out of marriages! Sorry ladies!

“Fancy dress” for the average Trumper means Kohl’s.

Actually, in a hilarious turn of events, I think you are thinking of Kevin Costner.

I give a pass for keaton he was in the movie hidden figures after all. And in general I’m glad they are apologizing and being made aware of it.

There was a little girl at my daughter’s birthday party who told everyone she had 20 coats. I’ll believe the 4 year old who was trying to upstage the birthday girl over Trump.

I don’t think he buys what he’s selling. “They’re running out of dresses” is such a simple-minded, naive fabrication that it’s almost charming, but no I honestly believe this is KILLING Donald. He pulled the mother of all cons to win King Of The World, and no one will come to his party, because no one loves him. This…

That said, outbound plane tickets from DCA, BWI, and IAD are sold out.

Ha! Guess he received at least one RSVP reading “Sorry, can’t make it. Couldn’t find a dress.”

wtf is a dress shop? when in the fuck did i happen upon 1917?

“concerned that somebody with a platform like Meryl Streep’s is inciting people’s worst instincts.”

FDR didn’t promise to do those things *before* he was elected. Trump did. He literally said he would put muslims into interment camps. People asked him how that was different than japanese americans in WWII and his answer was “You tell me!”....

Good. No one associated with anything traditional should be anywhere near his ass to sully themselves. Everything about this inaugeration - and this presidency, really - should have to be harder for him than it has been for previous presidents just to ram home the point that this presidency is not normal.