Oh wow, you really converted me.

Kanye West won’t be in it because they refused to build him a giant bird box.

Death Stranding?

That’s probably not a great idea for Park. I mean the guys who trash talk Star Wars on reddit all day are probably ripped.

Thank god they got rid of Dusty for a rookie manager who was totally qualified to handle a veteran team with lots of egos!

“Feel that fucking wood,” I screamed. “Tell me if you can ‘feel the grain’ now, motherfucker! And,” I said, stopping him for a moment as inspiration struck me, “feel it with your face.”

It’s slightly disturbing, even to me, how much I enjoyed this particular episode of Fancy Kristen.

Front loading washer.

Reality TV and “internet celebrities” proved this long before Trump became president. If you’re dumb and controversial, people will make you famous!

Counter-counter-point: none of the very real problems you just discussed justify being a toxic shitlord to actual human beings on a message board.

Because they’re cocky assholes that’s why. Remember when Tarkin refused to evacuate the Death Star at their “moment of triumph”? The FO, like it’s predecessor, has a habit of underestimating their foe. They thought that the Resistance had nowhere to hide, so why waste valuable resources like TIE Fighters and pilots…

Remember folks, doxxing is bad unless it’s done against people you disagree with nazis.

I doubt George reads anything but MRA and friendzone pages on Reddit.

Steve Yzerman had expressions of relief as much as anything when the Wings won the first one. Many other captains have had similar reactions to that from what I’ve watched...and I’ve seen the conclusion of every NHL season since 1994. There’s been obviously a lot of joy and raw emotions.

HOLY SHIT. It felt like all the other times right until it didn’t, all those weird goals and then bam we got it back. This means so damned much to me as a kid now 25 who grew up idolizing Alex Ovechkin. I wore 8 in high school hockey because of him and to see him finally climb that damned hill against Marc Andre…

I almost paced a hole in my floor, and then I cried with such relief and joy. ALL FUCKING CAPS!!!

(and for real, like it wasn’t dramatic enough without the clock issue? I was clutching my 15 year old in a panic haha)

We’re in the final stages of my fantasy of Ovechkin being a super spy sent to play in the NHL with the ultimate goal of winning the Cup to earn a trip to the White House and assassinate the president. I don’t condone assassination, but you’d have to respect the long game.

I know things look promising right now, but Caps fans know there’s still an opportunity to blow this.

Read this VERY carefully, it may save your life.

Fuck the Jeep Liberty.

I’m still trying to figure out why the hell Colin Miller thought either of Oshie’s big hits should’ve drawn a penalty. The first one, Miller tried to borderline cross-check Oshie and got stood right the hell up, making for a pretty sweet self-own. The second one, Oshie and Miller were both going for the puck and…