“Hmm. Haven’t checked Kotaku in a while. I could use some good news.”
-Me, like 1 min ago

Valid point, but if you come here for quality writing, I have some terrible news for you...

If you dig a hole deeper than 5 feet you need regulatory approval............WTF.

That isn’t as hard as you think. People are just really bad at saving and REALLY impatient.

4. Has Ben Affleck ever met an autistic person?

“Used to”, because he fucking died, right?

So the police officer who just witnessed this act of violence was surrounded by a mob of people who also just witnessed this act of violence. Am I fucking reading this right?

“spreading the wealth” worked out great for Venezuela, as long as you don’t get shot waiting on line for toilet paper.

I help run an incentive program for [GIGANTIC INVESTOR-OWNED ELECTRIC UTILITY]. One of the third-party implementers that we work with all the time, and by far is the biggest pain in our ass, lists his job title as “CEO.” To the best of my knowledge, he is the only person who actually works for that company, the home…

I assume it’s something more along the lines of “CEO’s have an important role in an organization, but are not worth 200x the average employees salary”.

*Facepalm. I know way too many of these people. It’s always accompanied by some shitty “professional” linkedin photo of them in a suit, then they post inspirational quotes on Facebook or change their status to “rise and grind” at least once a week.

Actually “CEO” is a term that means “Chief Executive Officer”, and is usually the title of the person who leads a company, may it be big or small. Sometimes they scam their way to the top, but sometimes it actually does take hard work and accomplishment. Also they may not do the day-to-day nitty gritty, but managing…

Counterpoint — Exxon’s $400mm man:

“Heart-Shaped Pizza” was the best Pearl Jam song. RIP Curt.

Well, now you know why nobody older than 16 doesn’t find him funny

On the bright side now I have a legitimate reason to hate Pewdiepie.

Well, now, hold on. Did he go to school in the south? They teach you it’s okay to touch cousins like that.

Your job sounds awful.

It was almost worth it just to hear Roger Goodell booed so loudly that the mic couldn’t pick up anything he said. Almost.

From Gladiator to Braveheart, most historical fiction about fighting with swords is kinda wrong, influenced more by performance art than how people actually fought each other with blades.