Ugg, i'm glad he survived, but man is he gonna be the biggest douche at every bro party

In addition to being the chillest running back in the NCAA, he was also voted the running back who makes the most of limited natural ability in the NCAA.

"Rudy was offsides,"

Bill Belichick says Han shot first. Did he?

That seems really high. Also, $35 million seems like a lot of money for him

Due to budgetary cutbacks, it's actually how Grambling relays the offensive coordinator's call from the booth to the sideline.

The above picture looks like Gronk opted for the two-o'clock slop during happy hour. Major party foul Brah!

Aaron Hernandez is holding his first annual toilet wine tasting the same day at the Bristol County House of Correction.

Guest instructors include Ben Roethlisberger and Aaron Hernandez, seats limited, call now!

The "interactive question and answer period" is code for some sort of drinking game with him right?

I came to gameplan and all I got was this lousy case of MRSA.

"All the free Coke you would want" was also a key part of SMU's recruiting pitch in the `80s.

While we're at it, here's a peak at what the post-season-lock Blue Jays were up to during these key moments:

Best Troll comment of the Day.

Rae Carruth served in the Harnett Correctional Institution in 2005 with...

North Dallas Forty Bag

Brian's Bong

Friday Night Grow Lights

I Can't Remember the Titans

"It's unfortunate, but they didn't live up to this team's values. If there's one thing the Texans won't stand for, it's—" [is sacked]