So...we’re not bringing this dumbass outta the grays, right?
Because we were TOTALLY making fun of sexual assault....
*Exaggerated eye roll*

oh god is that the one where the dude is still wearing his armor and there are like 239048723895723847324 stage lights flashing off him?

Too many of these ancient-legend-type films have gone wrong because the producer/directors try to check all the modern movie “gotta haves” off their lists and completely strip it of the intrigues and plot lines that made these stories “legendary” in the first place. Ear-splitting soundtrack? Check. Mysteriously exotic…

I don’t know why this movie was so bro-esque. Why not do an Arthurian movie using The Mists of Avalon as the primary inspiration, and make the male characters good-looking and not so dirty and grimy. Epic mythical beefcake, indeed.

I admire your idealism. I’m still annoyed as hell that there’s a reference in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” to an “early Latin text, 12th century.” Like they couldn’t afford to call the fucking classics department at UCLA to check on that, when they were spending millions on special effects? And having Indy…

Dating myself here- but Disney used to have a series on their Sunday night variety show called “The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh,” about a Reverend Syn who would ride about the 18th-century moors wearing a mask and doing good deeds, sticking it to the rich greedy landowners and so forth. Very swashbuckling and hot was…

Or another British/Irish tale never told on film: Anne Bonny and Mary Read. One of the greatest pirate stories every told that is actually two real-life adventures colliding and then creating a third real-life adventure. Never been made into a movie because, you know, women.

Movies with minorities might be the only thing saving Hollywood right now. Their whitewashed films have been tanking and their regular white lead films aren’t doing that well because it’s same old, same old.

Bland? BLAND? His mother was seduced by Uther Pendragon thanks to a spell Merlyn cast to make Uther look like her husband. He was hidden away so Other couldn’t kill him, whilst the tribes fell apart because Uther had no heir. Meanwhile his half sister is clever and capable but doomed to marry someone for political…

I think a Robin Hood film could be interesting if it had the guts to do anything about class warfare and wealth inequality. Really play into the “steal from the rich and give to the poor” angle in broad strokes. That’s really the best way to make Robin Hood resonate with modern, and also younger, audiences. A Robin…

I disagree on point 1, he doesn’t *alwaya come across as a total douche* but he does seem to be offered roles/take roles which are pretty douchy. At least recently... 

Most definitely. The Krampus movie didn’t do too bad at the box office and that’s German folklore. It actually did better than was expected, so there’s clearly an audience for new horror stories at least.

2. King Arthur doesn’t lend itself well to a Game of Thrones-esque fantasy trilogy. The story is pretty bland: poor kid yanks a sword from a stone and saves the kingdom. So what?

Amazing...ly terrible and overrated.

OR ... and this is a radical concept for Hollywood I know, but ... we could tell new stories instead of retelling the same old crap ad nauseam?

I didn’t even know this movie was coming out until about a week ago when I saw Charlie Hunnam saying something to the effect that it was silly. There seems be a lot of fingers that can be pointed to a lot of people for this flop. And yeah, one of those fingers needs to be pointed at the fact that most people don’t…

“Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels” and “Snatch” are both amazing...but yeah, everything after that has been a disappointment.

Nothing will ever beat this version with Helen Mirren, Patrick Stewart and Liam Neeson.

Better idea: maybe stop greenlighting Guy Ritchie movies for a little while, and by “a little while” I mean “for the span of his natural life.”