Good God, that’s real bacon. Not the fatty garbage we have in the states.

Excuse me, but there’s only one breakfast worth having.

He is definitely one very dim bulb.

She should chill out and listen to some AC/DC.

He was all amped up for a murder. He didn’t expect watt happened next.

I hope she stays grounded after this.

If this mastermind was a true Florida Man, he would’ve managed to electrocute himself

If this mastermind was a true Florida Man, he would’ve managed to electrocute himself.

#NotAllPlushies

A small, relaxed house party with a bottle of wine, a few shots of tequila (it’s a personal tradition), and board games is my NYE jam. Anything else I’ve ever tried to do or plan since being an adult of drinking age has been a bust.

My New Year’s Eve companions:

Other amateur hour nights: St. Patrick’s Day, Madri Gras, and Cinco de Mayo. I’m a hermit by nature, so I look for any reason to not go out, but these nights in particular are automatic hard nos for me. I’m in bed by 10pm every night nowadays (I have to get up at 5am for work) anyway. I won’t be in any sort of mood to…

Sober New Year’s is great! I discovered about five years ago I do not have to spend the first day of the new year puking my guts out and it has been a revelation.

In the eternally wise words of Papa Mean Gables, New Years Eve is amateur hour for going out. Bars are full of people with no goddam sense who don’t know how to be unobtrusively drunk in public (but who are fully committed to over-drinking), woo girls, bros, covers for bars that have no business charging a cover, and…

I’m feeling a cold coming on, and I’m so going to hunker down if I get sick. If not, I’m probably going to go to a dance party to see how I fare on my first sober New Years in probably over a decade.

Thank you. I haven’t even seen Last Jedi yet, but something about him in The Force Awakens got me all tingly in my girl parts. I was pretty sure I was over having feelings for the “bad boy” because my husband is the 100% nicest guy ever...and then he got all mind-meldy on Rey and I was like...oh wait.

Adam Driver falls into the “sexy but not necessarily attractive” category for me. His voice and the way he speaks really does it for me. I’d honestly do him so dirty he’d forget his own name for a few days. The emo, broody schtick hasn’t done it for me since I was a teenager but I’d give Kylo Ren the best 40 minutes…

Viewers are advised that what they are viewing is a spectacle and is not real and that the train will not, in fact, come out of the movie screen and run over them.

For someone who says she loves cats, she sounds like a seriously shitty cat owner! Anyone who lets a sick cat shit all over the basement instead of seeking medical care is an awful person who should not own cats. The new cats deserve a home with a family that will take care of them. DON’T GET ANY MORE CATS, LADY!

Cat person couldn’t figure out to get rid of the cats on her own?  Had to write an advice columnist for that?????