Her daughters made Kris this cute video, a parody of a 1985 recording she made to celebrate her 20th birthday.

I feel like the Kardashians having a Gatsby themed party is actually perfect. Nobody tell them how the book ends. Wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise.

Simple people don’t read.

As someone who has read multiple biographies of Zelda, Scott was a terrible fucking person. None of his books contain sympathetic characters, likely because he was such a narcissistic asshole.

I can't wait until the Kardashians have a Titanic party, or a Hindenburg party, or anything that ends in tragic and final death.

celebrated the “sweeping accomplishment and spectacular triumph” of the group’s “impact as a planetary force for the humanitarian uplift and social betterment.” Leader David Miscavige gave a three-hour speech and gave out the church’s “Freedom Medals,”

If she’s turning 60 now, wouldn’t 1985 have been her 30th birthday?

Because when at least two of the guests wind up dead they are hoping it will be chalked up to thematic consistency.

This is what happens every time the students I interview tell me about how much they love The Great Gatsby because “it’s all about the American Dream!” Not in the way you think, dipshits; you missed all of the cynicism.

Why is everyone always having Gatsby-themed birthday parties and weddings? That book is about terrible people being terrible! All of Gatsby’s fabulous parties are just a cover for his miserable, lonely life built on a foundation of lies! It is not an aspirational tale!

Congrats on the job!

Adulthood is the worst!

Adulthood can be strange & scary but I can have cereal for dinner and I don’t have to make my bed. Congrats on your new job!

Many people who are good at their job feel like they don’t deserve it. If a particular skill comes naturally to you, you don’t feel like you “worked” at it by toiling away in a Puritan fashion. It’s imposter syndrome.

Starting a new job is THE WOOOOOOOORST. Even if it’s your dream job. I basically just buckle in and prepare for it to be a nightmare. Then I try to do a little refresher of what I learned that day once I get home. And I take notes on my computer about any weird stuff that I’m not likely to remember. And then lastly I…

Congratulations!

Thanks! I get a lanyard and an ID card as well, which makes me feel like I’ve really made it.

Starting new jobs is the absolute worst. Nothing makes me feel less sure of my entire life than the first few weeks of a job.