I know Thomasin McKenzie is in this, but her part must be small indeed for no press to mention that while Soho is in theaters.

If this is the Downtown Denver Skatepark, it’s #11 in a list of seemingly screamingly obvious Don’t Be That Guy regulations:

I can’t tell if the kids on boards are all going  to check on Captain Fucknuts over there, or to give him the endless, withering shit he deserves, and that only teenagers can dish out. 

I think his tire pressure was off by 0.4 psi.

He was boned at 0 seconds... he owns a trike.

I am just relieved that the Changli stans haven’t hijacked the comments section to accuse you of staging the failure.

“During this seven-day leadership retreat, we will dive deep into our quarterly metrics and develop our vision for transforming Tatooine from a dust and sand planet into a dust and sand planet with sharply improved ROI.”

“God damn it, not another Changli post.”

At last, Disney is returning Star Wars to what made it great: meetings.

“How can we trust you, bounty hunter?”

“If you’ll turn to item 37 on the agenda, you will see that I intend to foster an open-door policy where all input is taken on board.”

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE BOBA FETTS

Sexy Changli was RIGHT THERE

“The sequel was poorly written reportedly”

I’m in software development. I can’t tell you how many time I’ve seen ticket responses from developers and from myself that look like this:

The Offspring has some good music but oh wow was “Americana” a bad album.

A deer darted in front of my wife’s 2008 Grand Caravan, crunching the front, the radiator, and the power steering. Since this was the fourth time the car was hit (the three previous hits by cars), Nationwide totalled it.

Q: I need a car to watch a volcano eruption, what should I buy?

People, if you are that close to a volcanic eruption, do not stand there gawking at it with your phone. You see those clouds of ash rolling forward along the ground? They are going to kill you if they catch up to you. Be like those people in the second video running for their cars and fleeing in terror. 

Lonestar: Just one more Dune to go.

They’re right next to the Space Mormons.

It is unforgivable that they left out Chaplin, the amazing Tony Stark prequel detailing his youth as a silent film star before the tragic death of his parents!

I am SO GODDAMN OUTRAGED that I basically agree with most of this and don’t have a chance to write a sarcastic spittle-flecked list of all my problems with it.