LOL. Thanks for the education. But that makes my hilarious hippo picture meaningless :-(

Hopefully.

Some recent research and therapy I’ve been doing has led me to believe that early and frequent exposure to porn (starting at 7) has led me to have some very skewed perspectives on women, sex, and relationships.

You mean HYPNOtherapy, right? Because I can only imagine HIPPOtherapy (while somewhat appropriate in this case) is not what you meant:

I’m not sure which is more shocking: that someone printed up t-shirts or that people are lining up to buy them.

I know, right? It’s like “Hey, Tony, we need you out of the limelight just until after Hillary gets elected so how about we send you to Tennesse to ride horses, swim, and such. We’ll bus in some 18 year old strippers if you want.”

Oh, and another thing: What’s the “Punish you” angle he’s got going on there? Seems like that’s the 3rd or 4th time I’ve heard seen that in one of his texts. So not only does he have a thing for young and tight, but he wants to hurt them too? He doesn’t need Equine Therapy in Tennessee, he needs like a whole team of…

SIGH

I was really hoping for a comment from Trump along the lines of “Well, look at her. Wouldn’t YOU cheat on your wife with her?”

Here’s the thing, I don’t care who fucks who. I care who’s going to do the job that needs to be done. Odds are that most every elected official in Washington has banged a secretary, an intern, or each other at one time or another. I don’t care. We’re all human.

I’m sure the baby deserved it.

Yeah, I know. It would be hell. I feel so bad for Patton.

Sorry to hear that. I hope the penguin didn’t hurt you too bad.

I wouldn’t survive a week without my wife.

Some radio guys were talking to kids this morning and one of them said Hillary was going to take away the Internet.

ProTip: Doing this with porn will reduce your endurance.

I saw this post before I saw the other one. NOW it makes sense.

I saw this post before I saw the other one. NOW it makes sense.

OK, i’ll try that. What I need is something for hotels. They never have enough room for my stuff and I don’t like using their stuff.

I’m not a Cubs fan but I’m a fan of Baseball History.

“And don’t let me catch you stuffing a football in your back pocket after you make a touchdown”