Rick Scott has a head that resembles a freshly-circumcised penis.

it’s not the words “SORRY USA AND WORLD” written in crayon on a piece of light green construction paper.

Where’s yours Gella? Mine is at Burlington Coat Factory.

Commentator, in crisp English accent: Folks at home may be asking themselves, “How will he finish?” And, well, Depends.

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

Plenty of us got daddy issues, but for heaven’s sake, Olsen ladies, find hot old dudes to bang! This Condo guy looks like Mr. Potato Head with the mustache piece missing.

Oh FFS. I live in a large enough market to have 5 local news stations. I pick one channel for morning news because of one anchor in particular. She’s warm, funny, engaging, and started off as a junior reporter and worked her way up. She also doesn’t look quite like the other anchors. She wears the same sleeveless…

WINFREY I’ve learned from her that the word that most articulates what we’re looking for is what we want to be: included. It’s to have a seat at the table where the decisions are being made.

Yeah, anybody can block anybody on Twitter. If the first I hear of you as a person is you up in my @s yelling at me about something (at the same time that THOUSANDS OF OTHER PEOPLE ARE ALSO YELLING AT ME IN MY @S) I would feel no compunction blocking you, and fuck anyone who tells me I am obligated to patiently let…

Two grand?!

Now that’s the Instagram photo I want to see. Need to see, even.

I’m Jewish and went to USC!! We existed and would have welcomed you! There was a Hillel that I only ever participated in for access to the Passover seder and a Jewish fraternity I intentionally avoided.

the first time I read this, i thought your mom said, “you will die all alone!” and I was like, that is the most Jewish Mother thing ever said to anybody in the history of time. and then i realized that she was just hysterical about you being alone, but still.

i got into south carolina and my mom cried “but there are no jewish people there. you will be all alone!!!” so i didnt even visit the campus

I hate when people say shit like that. It’s up there with “do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life”.

She got trashed for it.

fuuuuuuuck no

I would watch the shit out of Olympic Segway racing.