“No, I don’t believe dinosaurs existed,” Hayes said last month.

I’m a dinosaur truther. The truth is that dinosaurs are fucking awesome.

Livin’ the dream, Ken. Livin’ the dream.

and aren’t you glad as hell that he doesn’t have polio or any other disease that is easily preventable?

“MY kid, partaking in MY superior genes, would never get autism. So she/he is safe without the vaccine.” — what I imagine they must be thinking.

Even. If. Vaccines. Did. Cause. Autism. Which. They. Do. Not. An. Autistic. Child. Is. Still. An. Alive. Child.

Make up your mind, dipshit: is he completely incompetent or omnipotent? Because you sure seem to be attributing a lot of very complex situations to him as a single point of origin, which would make you among the world’s leading authorities on chaos theory, despite all the evidence to the contrary.

So what you’re saying is, absolutely no part of the incredible wall-to-wall fiasco in Iraq was the fault of G. W. “Shrub” Bush and Dick “Dick” Cheney? You’re saying they did a great, flawless job and are above any criticism? And on top of everything else, you’re saying that the U.S.-Iraq Status of Forces agreement,…

About seven years now! You are adorable. The neocons could fuck up a bagel and you want them back in charge.

Basically every Obama policy has led us to this point, and now we just have to deal with it.

Bullshit.

A universe with Superman in it emphatically does not need the Justice League. It sure helps sell some comics, though.

Put it this way. Good cops, consciously nor not, try to be Superman. Bad cops think they’re Batman. “I wear this uniform so that people will be afraid of me.”

Yes! She wins the US Open, the Australian Open, and occasionally the French Open, too.

Yeah, yeah. Real potential there. She keeps at it, she could make a living at this tennis stuff.

Given the lack of any hard evidence, “pretend” is a dangerous word for you to be throwing around, no?

Everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. What this book presupposes is... maybe he didn’t?

He said, Charles Manson is Definitely Guilty, But What If He Isn’t?

Let’s all open up a crisp, cold, refreshing can of this: