I enjoy it as well, probably because anything that reminds me of drug-fueled “fuck yeah, Massachusetts gave me a license” teenage tomfoolery in 1993 is on my permanent “this stuff’s good by me” list. It wasn’t good by any reasonable person’s standards then, it isn’t now, but it still gets judged by 16-year-old me’s…

As a big fan of Mexican food, I both love Taco Bell and realize it is not at all anything Mexican. Like you can enjoy the artistry of professional boxing and still want to watch two drunk frat boys punch each other unconscious in the parking lot of a Church’s Chicken.

This weekend I had my four-billionth customer respond to “Can I get you anything else?” with “Yeah, a stack of hundreds, har har har.” I’d just had two miserable shifts in a row, the highlight of which was the homeless drunk who came in and vomited blood all over the floor. I replied “I don’t have any hundreds back…

Still, DON’T ACTUALLY PUNCH THEM.

Now he can get back to playing cones of dunshire

They told us all our lives growing up, “Work hard, stay in school, study, go to college and get a degree, because you don’t want to flip burgers for a living.”

Well, we worked hard, stayed in school, studied, got a college degree, accruing tens of thousands of dollars in debt, and we emerged from college to find a…

I’m in that boat with ya. I really don’t get why people who make close to $15/hr or just above it give so much of a damn if other people besides themselves can actually buy food and pay bills without counting value of food by ounces/calorie ratios. I work an office job, have an MA, and I’ve been brute force applying…

This point cannot be repeated often enough.

Poor soldier, having to attend a Rams game. Hasn’t he sacrificed enough?

Regardless, if your business doesn’t make enough money to pay your employees a living wage, then it is not a very good business, and deserves to go broke.

we only looked at pay per view charges on a room when the guest asked to have them removed. if i recall correctly, the length record for a porn requested to be removed from the bill for “i didn’t watch that” was 9 minutes. that was a true outlier though, the majority were around 3 minutes.

A few nights ago, one of my Papa Johns co-workers fell down as he was about to put a pizza in the oven. Amazingly, he still got the pizza into the oven even as he was falling down. It was pretty remarkable.

Sara is the hero we deserve

Much status, very number 1.

“Last time I checked I was number one on Forbes list.”

It’s a pretty simple game to play. You put out an appropriately worded survey and I can get you a figure anywhere from sub-one percent to more than fifty.

Dear fellow readers of Kitchenette:

I had a customer once that told me, upon sitting down, that she was vegan. No problem, it was California and I was used to that. The thing was, our pizza dough used honey (probably because the sweeter dough when combined with the metric ton of sugar used in the marinara created a pizza more like candy than food). We…

Wouldn’t free ketchup actually be commie? Charging for it is very American and capitalist.