Oh fuck...

You sound like fun.

You are on the wroooooooong web site.

There’s one of you and tens of thousands of Teslas.

And just like clockwork, the comments section is filled with people bragging about their driving ability.

Ha! As a tech in Oregon, I can tell you pump jockeys fuck this up more than the average Joe. But for people who keep their receipts, the gas station foots the bill.

Cops who are concerned with looking tough shouldn’t be cops.

Cars like this are akin to jamming forks in light sockets, sticking your hand in a tank full of piranhas, and having unprotected sex with strangers from Craigslist.

If you don’t think it smells in there, GET OUT NOW!

I beg to differ. Your home is the single largest investment you will ever make. You have an interest, whether you realize it or not, in protecting it. Neighborhood eyesores are a threat to that investment. I wouldn’t think twice about calling codes enforcement.

He glued a part of another steering wheel onto the steering wheel. He does not know what he’s doing.

Yeah, it deserves to be owned by someone who isn’t a crazed hoarder who left them all in a field to rot and disintegrate, and who isn’t determined to scrap them if people offer anything less than mint condition money. I have every sympathy for those cars, but zero sympathy for Ron.

*sound slowly increases as car gets closer*

Push the start thing
I don’t know why
You don’t even really have to try
Keep that in mind
I designed this Dime
To get you work in time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away

he isnt making anything by giving cars away to charity that he wants far more than they are worth. he’d rather scrap them out of spite.

Our local NPR takes car donations, and he’s gotta be within broadcast range. I’d love to see that offer put to the test...

I feel like Jalopnik has been pushing really hard to get us to feel sorry for this guy, but it’s just not working. He’s clearly a hoarder, the land is a de-facto junk yard, he’s not preserving these vehicles in any meaningful way, and I have no issue with local governments stepping in here.

jumping from the hot tub back into the pool

One please, with Alitalia livery and license plate WHELJAK. Thank you.