Trained fighters, like War Machine and Mayweather, should be charged with attempted murder when they attack anyone outside of the ring. If you are a highly trained fighter you are automatically a dangerous weapon.

I called them once. They asked me for my personal info before counseling me, and grew angry when I was reluctant to provide it. Luckily, I'm still around to complain. Would not recommend.

Last week, I told someone that I suffered from depression. She said, "I don't believe that. You are always smiling." Instead of punching her, I decided to educate her and said "That's what people with depression do; we become incredible liars." Robin Williams, always smiling, yet open about your struggles with…

Prancercise Lady IS THE BOMB THO.

Wow, this is a stunner. He has been woven into the fabric of my life since my childhood. My condolences to his friends, family, and fans.

It's like having the ultimate Mean Girl whispering in your ear all the time telling you you're worthless, that the world would be better off without you. But it lies. It lies more than any politician ever could. Depression is a fucking asshole.

Whoa - wait. There's a Johnny Knoxville sex tape?!?!

There's a point to Kinja? Because it's failing miserably. Comments around here were 200x better a couple years ago. Old articles popping up make it all too obvious.

...You threw a dirty diaper at a store employee? You do realize that's assault, right?

Compassion and understanding are not really owed to something as inexcusable as this. The woman could've exposed any/every patron in the restaurant to any number of diseases simply because she thought it was too inconvenient to go out to her minivan. She was owed no courtesy. She should have (if she wasn't) been asked…

We live in a word where we don't want E.Coli mixed in with our dining.

Yes, this is real. People are like, "There's nowhere to go." But what they mean is, "There's nowhere to go that's 100% convenient for me right here and right now."

I'm sure it's a real pain in the ass. That doesn't make her less of an asshole. We all have to do things that suck in order to get along in society.

Imma let you finish this article but KFC HAS A BUFFET? What is there to eat besides chicken? Do they have a "Make Your Own Double Down" station?

OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP. STOP. I NEED TO BUY A FIXED GEAR BICYCLE. STOP. I LIKED MODEST MOUSE BEFORE YOU. STOP.

Oh man, once I found a random CASE of tampons in the back of the warehouse I worked in. The kind that go in vending machines in bathrooms. It was a misdelivery or something from a couple years before. I asked my (male) boss if I could have them, he said yes without hesitation. Do you know how popular you become with…

"At least Marnell was able to do well for herself," — yeah, it's funny how much easier life is when you have a trust fund.

So, Elizabeth Wurtzel MkII. Yawn. Next!