It's true! We're so lame!

Yes.
And stop calling me Shirley.

My only comfort is that I'm siphoning off someone else's WiFi to complain about being a patsy on the AVC, thus, making someone else a patsy.

Never in my life would I have thought of being a patsy. But it's 2017, and here I am.
A patsy.
Walking like a patsy.
Talking like a patsy.
Dressed in patsy clothes.
Eating patsy food.
Drinking patsy drinks.
Even my dog's a fucking patsy.
Shit.

I sure as hell don't see CNN being this reflective.

"I'm here for my daily allowance of 'truthiness', sir."

Reginald VelJohnson's…Johnson?

It feels much more benign and lighthearted then, than nowadays, with that tool who tried to get in to the all-women screening of Wonder Woman .

That's oddly sexy, based on the possibility that Trump, heeding the siren's call, might actually make it up there, and emerges from the door like Boticelli's Venus.

That would be some good "Fear and Loathing" shit right there.

This.
It's unbelievable that this nation is in the hands of this child. His agenda is threefold at all times on the foreign stage:

Well, the upside, if there's any, is that they use Discus there, a thing we are all going to miss soon…

Maybe someone can retool "Troy & Abed In The Morning" into a Crossfire concept.

Starbucks wins.

Maybe they can get it on live on site at the nearest, um, "dormant" volcano.

Can't someone just ask her if she's dead yet?

I was told there would be no math.

Feral Red Staters?

Some of us twice, even!

J.O. Versus The Volcano.