I'm assuming I'll get to pick the music for the ride?
[Cues up 'Ride of the Valkyries', but cuts to 'Waterloo' instead]

Hey, how'd the car stereo installment go?

You mean "improper underhand fashion", you savage.

RIGGED!

Gerald Ford, dead!

"Jack Daniels…fuckin' good luck!"

Coffee!

Timing the IN Memoriam

I'm in!

I ripped four in a row once, then I shat myself.

Get off my porch!

Death by Marfan.

Holy smokes!

Ivanka, to Dad: "Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit *don't fucking roll*!"

Yikes!

I'm getting a pool among friends on the over/under for how long the "In Memoriam" segment will run tomorrow. I got fifty minutes, with a pee break in between.

"Non-Controversial Christ Painting Under Fire From Art Community."

What on earf is he trying to accomplish here?

"You'll have to change your Facebook status now."

JOHNSON!