Start with a Doug Flutie, then work your way up.

I knew this one time a therapy dog got spooked, and the leash got entwined in a family member's leg, she fell off the bed and broke her leg.

"Obama Tells Nation He's Going Out For Cigarettes."

Hugs to you, I've seen your other posts, no explanations needed for the why's, this is a tremendous loss.

Yes. Yes, it has.

Are you Dynamite Joe Biden?

This is terrible, but inevitable given the circumstances of her cardiac arrest, down 15 minutes, CPR being done as the plane was attempting to land. All present first responders should be thanked for their efforts, given a near-impossible situation for survival.
I personally defibrillated a man under cardiac arrest in…

One-man cover band names:
The Desperadoes
Hotels California

I wanted to know where Pig Newtons came from.

Little Steven?

From Our Dumb Century:
"Sinatra Warns Russkies To Knock It Off."

This is sad for his family, friends, and fans.
RIP to a true 80s pop icon.
…2016 is clearly not through…

Bing bong
Sing along
You're team's Al Gore
'Cause your views are wrong.

I lack criminal intent to post another bad pun here.

This is truly a sob story.

Sarah Sutherland's howl in Veep is one of the best.

"Jerry Lewis threw me out of a hospital room in Vegas" is gonna be my epitaph.

"I'll allow it…but watch yourself, GoodBoy"

Odd synergy of username and story of checking into hospital for "exhaustion"

I thought Billy's hosting the Oscars again at first glance of the headline.