“you’d be my idol, dad, but ya quit.”

But it would still be more believable if it was super jacked Kumail right?

“slipper sale with prices starting at JUST $34"

“slipper sale with prices starting at JUST $34"

Thanks. 

What’s with the part where Police Officer Dom looks at Elliot’s ID and says it looks nothing like him?

Fuck off. Randy rules. 

Given he’s already holding pumpkin bread from later in the ep and his gleefully insane expression of making his hosts feel like shit, it’s undoubtably after. 

I’d like to think the caption is talking about the photograph itself. 

For some reason is that they decided after just 3 new episodes after the years off that why not wait a week for another ep? AVClub didn’t get the memo. 

I’m pretty sure his name is Ricardo. Ricardo Sanchez. 

I waited over an hour to get two Classics without pickles. What were in the actual bags? One Classic WITH pickles, and one Spicy without pickles... despite the bag being checked Classic. Can I yell at these slow moving fucks now?

Quick questch... what the fuck are you talking about? I see no coupon. 

Quick questch... what the fuck are you talking about? I see no coupon. 

It’s hard to argue with this mansplaining article. 

As soon as he said the can was difficult to open I knew he had no gf.  It is not hard to open at all and any woman who saw a man having such difficulty could never see him as a mate.

I’m sorry but Lion King comes out next week, so who told Conan this was a funny bit? They should be fucking fired. 

I wanna do a show where it’s just about the cop who every week gets put upon by a different ridiculous non-cop partner who gets all the credit. 

I thought it was truly bizarre since it’s referred to as “an old detective movie” when it clearly isn’t. Why would you use a fake gangster movie as a placeholder for a detective movie?

There are three episodes left.  Still plenty of time for people to die horribly.

Duck: Bread makes you fat!?

I’m fine with feeding all the idiots who buy rhino horn to lions as well.