That only counts when it's Brian Williams.

No one's gay for Bill O'Reilly.

O'Reilly uses Depends for that.

I'll just put you down as "wide" then.

Also, how much cinnamon are you using? Because you really shouldn't be eating enough spices to worry about carcinogens. You're going to have many digestive issues long before you get to cancer.

Huh, I found the whole concept of Audition to be sad. Not on the scale of Fireflies but there's a quiet desperation that drives the plot and leads inexorably to the end.

That's one of the reasons that I rewatch Porco so often. I try to pick different languages and see how different it makes it.

They've been promoting the hell out of it too. Don't ask me how I know.

LOCK HER UP!!!!!!!!!!!

She was in the theater when I saw it. What did you do wrong?

Robin Zander is so much hotter than Sean Penn and doesn't have that whole beating up women baggage.

Like Jessica Simpson she also thinks tuna is chicken.

You could get the president to tweet for you. I hear he's good at that sort of thing.

Just like 5 o'clock, it's March 31st somewhere!

Mary, please!

That is the wrong thing to do with a black light flashlight. You don't want to know.

What am I supposed to do with these black "velvet" posters and neon markers?

Television taught me that bliss is something that you put in your coffee. That or something that your bathroom smells like.

The whole world knows that Trump is a fraud and an idiot but he's got enough power that most people have to play along. Kushner's on his coattails. I don't feel sorry for him at all.

Why would you feel bad? Empathy for Kushner? Or sympathy for the authors that had to put up with him?